| I'll probably wish i was far away.
I dunno... maybe i can't fix anything anymore, and maybe i'll have my parents crying but there are some things i can't ignore, and possibly changes. I make mistakes, i am an amateur, a kid, i would always be a kid at heart, a wanderer and a learner by spirit, with a mind of a madman, an adventurer.
I still got lots to learn, and sometimes i feel like i keep imagining how would it be with my old boyfriend, and my new one. And my kid... it was like i can't wait to do everything with him/her.
I hate how my old boyfriend treats me now, though probably he was concerned, but he still treats me like a kid. And i remember how it was like once: amateur adults trying to tell me i'm wrong, and that he's always right and better than me, though he still lives on with a twisted sort of philosophy and a very insecure type of lifestyle.
I mean, who goes on and rave about being a teacher, about living the legacy of your departed boss when all you do is draw chibis? Drawing a chibi does NOT require knowledge in anatomy, in details, in flexibility and creativity.
And a Jonathan Livingston? God help me...
And then there's the other one: spoiled, selfish, and yeah, a typically depressing boyfriend who's mostly discontented about everything you do.
But still you have dreams, and though i could be someone trapped in motherhood being with him felt like i could still go on and accomplish whatever i still wish for. He hurts me, emotionally, but he still grabs my hand and says "Let's do something together, for the sake of art, and for glory."
And whenever i see things accomplished, and i could see him on stage, in front of the crowd holding a smile and a prize i wish i could still hold that moment for eternity.
Go ahead and tell me i'm stupid, i still have a long way to go...
Manic Monday and Snowdown Hoodie, two freshly edited self-portraits from my Canon Ixus.
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
savilleskelton's journal